Jen Currin's chap book type thing had a few different types of poemings in it and the one that stuck in my mind the stickiest was the poem called: "On Peace Street" and it goes like this:
"It started snowing. I wanted to pour us glasses of wine and go out into the snow, to feel it melt on our faces. The first snow of the year. I told you I didn't think the military should exist and kissed you. You said you couldn't think of anyone but him. The snow was wet; it slipped off windshields and slushed the stairs. A city of bolted kale glowed whitely in the front yard. The black cats from upstairs slipped past our legs. The moon was falling slowly. You looked away and I lifted my glass."
I found this poem attracted my attention because it contrasted happy and sad images in my mind, There's one part where it says "I...kissed you. You said you couldn't think of anyone but him." And that makes me think that they were out having fun in the snow and one person expressed their feelings that the other basically said that they wanted someone else. And then the poem goes on to describe more scenery. I just find it interesting that it can be so disinterested in the emotions that it was describing and continue on in the poem as if nothing had been said other than talk about snow.
So I've written a poem trying to get at the same idea as this poet did,
We watched a movie, and I wanted more popcorn but the cupboard was empty. The movie was a blur of animation and music. All I could think of was the pretty girl you smiled at earlier. You smile at me and drink some pop. You tell me stories of your chidhood and I smile when the time is right. I can't escape the pit. But I forget and we become quiet and the movie becomes loud and the night outside is dark and the room is aglow from the tv and all I can think of is popcorn.
It's just a draft so far.
Hey Raeanne,
ReplyDeleteI'm inspired by what you're trying to do here with your poem. I love the parallelism you've created between Jen Currin's work and your own. I find it interesting that your narrator seems enamoured with the subject of the poem, but then says "I can't escape the pit." I'm intrigued by this line. What is the pit? The pit in the bottom of their stomach? or an actual pit. Regardless, the contrast is startling, and I think it works well here.
I'm excited to see what kind of title you come up with, and I look forward to reading more of your work this semester.
Lindsey
Hey Raeanne,
ReplyDeleteI'm inspired by what you're trying to do here with your poem. I love the parallelism you've created between Jen Currin's work and your own. I find it interesting that your narrator seems enamoured with the subject of the poem, but then says "I can't escape the pit." I'm intrigued by this line. What is the pit? The pit in the bottom of their stomach? or an actual pit. Regardless, the contrast is startling, and I think it works well here.
I'm excited to see what kind of title you come up with, and I look forward to reading more of your work this semester.
Lindsey
It's interesting how one author's poems can inspire poems in us, isn't it? I guess that's why it's important to read a lot if you're planning on becoming a creative writer, otherwise how do you know good writing from bad? I found that Jen was able to say a lot with very little, along with evocative imagery (like "A city of bolted kale") that makes us think about what's happening, rather than being obvious about it. For example, the line about the military, followed by the kiss and thinking of him made me think that maybe there was a war on, she was kissing someone, but they were thinking about someone at war - like a friend or family member. Crazy!
ReplyDelete